Stop, thief!!
We were unlocking our bikes outside McKenzie hall when I looked down and saw the mutilated cable lock.

Oooh, someone' mega-lock got cut.

I pick it up and sure enough, it's been shorn through.

I wonder if they cut it because they lost the key... or maybe public safety took it away.

Or, the unspoken, it was stolen. I had parked my bike there a little over two hours ago and at that time there had been no broken lock. Could someone really have had the gall to steal a bike in broad daylight between the hours of 3 and 5 PM?

I toyed with the lock in my hands as one of my coworkers came up behind me.

Dude, look, someone's-- I'm cut off

Lemme see!! he takes the lock from me and pulls out his keys.

What is he doing? Trying to show me that they have a universal key? Playing with the lock? I'm so naive the possibility doesn't cross my mind until he opens it.

That's... your lock?

he nods.

shit.. um... what happened to it?

he looks at me like I'm stupid.

uh... where's your bike?????

And the truth: it's gone. Sometime between the two hours I was at Micro, his bike was jacked. In broad daylight, ten feet from the windows of occipied offices of professors and faculty. He is deadpan.

I guess I'd better go to Public Safety.

He takes the cable lock and wanders off. I still don't believe it.

Was he serious??

He seemed so... ok... so.... nonchalant. Maybe he was shocked. I know what you would have gotten out of ME in the same situation.

AAAAAUUUGH!!! Where the FUCK is my BIKE????