ZZZ...
Kat is tired.

Being awake (even if only semi) until 4 Am and inebriated with copious amounts of run, vodka, and sangra (the aforementioned hard A being done only in shots) has made Kat a very, very, exhausted girl.

Oh, wait, I forgot to mention that my arse is still slightly sore from the paddling I recieved from a girl with a makeshift ninetails around 1AM. Oh, and then later from Justin. Yeesh. Thank God for safety words.

Last night was Katie and Murray's fetish party. It went off very well ... tho I've been told that some people are bitter because I'm a thin blonde... god... FUCK... you'd think I'm one of THOSE girls. I've always been on the other side of the mirror. Hating someone because they're pretty. But now I've grown into my skin and found that if I believe in myself, I, too, can be beautiful. And now people hate me for it. Cheh. What does it mean?

To be quite honest, I actually got sick of taking complements after the millionth flattering statement/feelup. Thanks, really, I'm flattered but... I just can't deal with the exposure... no, I don't model. No, I don't want to. Yes, I have a nice figure. Thank you. Thank you. I remember a time when people wondered more about my mind.

Granted, I was lounging mostly or completely naked on the couch and meandering among equally undressed individuals so the complements were running thick in all directions-- it's really the only way to make a group of naked acquaintances feel comfortable around each other. And, well, it was a party where the premise was appearance and extremes, so I don't fault anyone for looking. The point was to display. I think, really, complements just spark a greater dissent within me. A repressed insecurity, a loating of self-image and of facing the self.

I was still comfortable at the party but I feel like a bit of a lamer. I was too tired to be as drunk as I was and it just conked me out. Alas, I turned down too many good playmates just because I was too exhausted to be horny. I was really quite impressed by everyone there. People are so strange! Give them the opportunity to be wild and just watch them run with it...

I brought the camera but decided against photographs given that they would probably be blackmail material.

In any case, the party was great fun even if I was detached and even if there were a few "squares" there. They all left the later it god. Alas, I fell asleep the later it got.

I propose we have another wild, polyamorous party! New Years! Valentines Day! St. Patty's! Hell, who needs an excuse. Count me in!