I am Me.
The most amazing day today. First time things have surpassed "good" in a while. I felt alive, I felt in control, I felt validated and reaffirmed. I felt in touch with nature and in touch with myself physically and abstractly. I was wrong to judge so harshly of myself. Maybe I can accept things the way they are. That may be asking too much of a seeker... I'm on terms with my own happiness right now. I think I understand. I don't expect to be understood but today it felt as if the universe were listening. I was running my fingers through the fabric of time, sifting the sands backward and forward.

I was surrounded by people today and I walked. I confided and was confided in. I passed the cemetary in the early morning light when the sun was breaking through the pines in shafts. A place of power I have never walked, yet will when the moment comes.

I can hear my roomate singing to herself in the other room. Her friend moved out of the house this weekend without telling her. I didn't say goodbye because I didn't care. But she cried last night because she came back to an empty room. I feel joy in the ground beneath my feet but I still love day to day... love, I meant to write live. I never know what the next moment will bring. Right now, the cold only makes the stars shine brighter.

And still....
When I said we talked, you never asked what we talked about.

Stream of Consciousness: So I just got back from watching Eva. Can you tell? My brain is totally fried. I'm thinking in monosyllables and snippets. I didn't used to think Eva was such an amazing series. It really isn't for kids... I couldn't relate at all on the level I can now. It's so easy to get lost in the show when you can relate to the abstract symbolism of each character. I think I see myself in Misato the most... What scares me is that sometimes the series seems less like entertainment and more like a religion of its own. I wonder if I'm converting.