The Hedgehog's Dilemma
I'm feeling a little rebellious. I want to change something about myself just to tweak people out a little. Like get a tatoo or a piercing or cut off my hair and dye it. Maybe I'll pose for a girlie magazine. Keepsake photos are nice and I'm extremely poor.

Yesterday I did jinx myself. Some more dreams last night, but of a different variety. I think I've learned how to disregard them, or at least to glean what I'm supposed to from examining them. It was an old and a new dream that took place in places of the past and of the present. [i.e. my old house in Michigan and in Grayson hall]

I wonder if it's possible to read minds in your sleep. Last night I saw something from another's perspective. Not neccesarily how I wanted to see it, but I wonder if it is her point of view.

I was thinking about what I write here this morning. I should have logged my thoughts when I had them, but I'll take a stab now. I suppose the gist of it is that I'm a little put off at myself for censoring this journal. I made a pact with myself that when I write in journals I won't obsess about the men in my life. Looking back at diaries I had before I told myself this, it is apparent why. The pages are filled with the drivel of "I met this guy... blah de blah blah." To a certain extent, what I write is valuable; I can see how my relationships change and mature as I have a dialogue with myself. But mindlessly mewling about how you love someone isn't going to give you emotional apotheosis or make you care about what you wrote later. Yes, I was never good at love letters. So, for that and other reasons of tact, I've been hesitant to mention much on my mind about my boyfriend an myself. I also think that it's annoying to read someone's blog and hear "oh so and so and I did this today. We had so much fun. Then X came over and we went to see Y." I mean, who gives a shit about your daily calendar anyway? But, I do believe now that if your relationship is what's on your mind and if you're thinking about it philosophically, you should write about it. A lot of the "talking" I want to do does involve "men-based" relationships in some way. Unfortunately for some of my readers, what I write is going to be about them. So do I throw tact out the window and blatantly post my thoughts about these people? Or should I re-initiate the private-posts based on ip-blocks and/or passwords. I dunno. Seems like a real journalistic dillemma.

On one hand, this is my journal, I write it for me, and I don't care what you all think of me. On the other hand, I don't wanna f*ck anyone up in the head, because I do care about messing with other people's feelings. I guess you'll see sometime soon. But don't worry, I won't regale you with schedules of my days. They're all the same. School, work, homework, sleep.