Just like Christmas!
Oh boy oh boy oh boy!!! I'm all excited!! I bought my camera today not expecting it to ship until tomorrow (and hence arrive on Monday) but it shipped today! That means... new toy for me tomorrow! And having the camera makes it so easy to justify spending on accessories. But it's an investment for this class and for my future use. It really is a good camera. Yeesh, though. You think I'd be working on being a miser for my study abroad. I am, in a way, but I do need a camera before I go. And the benefits far outweigh the costs on this one. Plus, I'm planning on making my ca$h this summer. And hopefully fundraising a bit through my fundraising site.

Take a look at that site, by the way. I put quite a bit more work into both the template and the content tonight. The only sections left to fill in are the "About Me" and "FAQ" sections. In a way, they're the most important selling point and the most work, but also the most fun. : ) If anyone wants to try and drop me a dollar to see if my paypal account is working, it would be much appreciated. I should have the site up and running by this weekend.

I'm really excited about my camera and I'm sure I'll blather on about it like an idiot for a good long while. It really will make taking this class worthwhile. But otherwise I'm feeling oddly emotionally ambivalent. I guess I do this sometimes when I'm content being involved with "activities" and not overly stressed by them. At least I think my classes this term will be enriching. I'll probably still be annoyed by my Tai Chi instructor, but that's just her personality. And I seem to feel more self-conscious than I expected taking the class with Alex... but that's something I'll get over after a few classes and is probably inspired by the fact that I'm feeling reticent and not particularly "deep" this week.

There was an anti-war walk-out, rally and march on campus today. Though I would have liked to have gone, I didn't, both for lack of time and emotional investment. I just don't know what I think about marches and protests at this point. I don't know what to think at all any more. No, I don't agree with the war. But I don't think we can stop it from happening either. I AM a little bit of a conspiracy theorist and I honestly think this government is more than a little FUCKED UP. I do not think that Bush is doing the best things possible for this country and for the world. But I do now know what the "best things possible" ARE. I don't know what difference I can make. I'm a frustrated, passive pacifist. It's hard to be purely against a war that's already in effect when Iraqi citizens are welcoming our troops and when pulling out would probably have dire consequences in and of itself. What the hell can we do RIGHT at this point? Ugh.

I really don't want to talk politics in this blog any more than I want to talk romance. Only when it's really important will I put it in. Otherwise it's unneccesary and inflamatory drama... and god knows I don't need any more of that.

But speaking of romance, Justin and I ARE doing much better. A part of us has resolved to separate when I go to Japan and a part of us doesn't want it to come to that. Regardless, the next six months should be lived in relative harmony. There's no reason for us not to be supportive of each other in our life paths, even if they take us separate directions. I'm trying to convince myself (yes, me of all people) that really, things just HAPPEN and that sometimes there is no RIGHT or WRONG decision. It's hard when I've already learned how much weight can be measured by the consequences of one small (or large) action. And it's hard in these times of stress, both internationally, academically and personally.

On another note, I don't think I'll be able to get in to the counseling center walk-in tomorrow. I know, bad me. Maybe I'll skip my workout. But I have an appointment to fix somebody's busted Eudora in the Comp Lit department and I have a feeling it'll talk longer than expected. That and (YAY) I'm getting my camera tomorrow so I'll want to play with it. Huttah. Erm, well. I suppose I should go anyway... but... meh. Gym... camera... Eudora. I know which one I'd throw out if I had the chance. Stupid Eudora. What an awful email program, and named after such an awful writer. Oh well, it's a job.

And now I'm going to cut it off since I should get to bed before it gets too late. Note to self: start reverting this diary to its old "self-reflective" format and it will become what you meant it to be.