Die already!
Why is my betta fish trying so hard to stay alive? I can't justify leaving him here to die alone and stink up the house... nor do I really want to take him home to let him die for my family. They'd just flush him anyway. How unromantic!

It would be cruel and heatbreaking to flush him now. He's still hanging on, for chrissakes!

I want him to die so he won't have to suffer any longer and also so I can give him the funeral he deserves. A proper VIKING funeral. I want to put him on a little balsa slab wrapped in tissue paper and set it alight on the canoe track, in flames. I'll watch him float gently down the stream and oooooover (oop!) the dam on his way to fishie valhalla. Damn it for raining too much for me to start a proper flame. Damn him for still being alive!

Acckgh, I can feel my karma slipping away.