It's not even exciting anymore
Woo, yay, I just accepted an invitation to become a member of Phi Beta Kappa, the nation's oldest and most reputable Honor Society. Those guys must be pretty smart, because they managed to get me to give them seventy dollars.

How come all the honors I'm ever offered are those that want to take my money rather than offer it to me? Is it because I'm secretly slated to have a high-paying job? Because I just don't see it. When I'm shivering somewhere in a cardboard box, I can clutch my PBK membership handbook and rock back and forth while remembering my golden years.

At least I get another freaking $10.50 honors cord. FAAAAAN-TASTIC!