the temple
I'm blogging from the Apple Store in Tokyo Ginza (on a Japanese keyboard, so forgive any spelling and punctuation errors). Alex leaves Tokyo tomorrow and though I'll be glad to finally rest-- and am COMPLETELY satisfied with my travels-- it's going to be hard to be without a close friend nearby. Regardless of how comfortable I've become functioning in Japanese, there is still a considerable language barrier preventing me from communicating my real self and from understanding the hearts and minds of the people around me. Since I'm SO verbally expressive in English, it makes me feel more than a little frustrated and lonely not to be able to call up the words I need when I need them.

Still, I've learned and accomplished more over the last six weeks than I ever could have expected. I feel finally solid on my own two feet-- not just in Japan but in my own life. When I started this break, I was unsure I'd made any progress with ANYTHING since coming to Japan... but now I know that I've far exceeded my own hopes. I haven't just learned about Japan and the Japanese but in extreme depth about myself.

Any way I try to put my mental and emotional progress into words sounds stupid and corny... so please excuse. In the last three weeks, somehow, my deepest seated fears have been assuaged and the wounds that have ached sort of unhealed for the last four years have finally healed. How? I can't really make sense of it either because it's still too new to look at in retrospect... but everything finally makes sense. It's as if my path has finally been revealed to me. And I know, of course, that nothing is for certain but I feel a calm in my heart that even if I'm NOT seeing my path, I can confidently tread whatever road lies in front of me.

Outside of the extreme internal progress I've made (and all that gorgeous psychobabble), the trip was amazing for so many other reasons. Yeah sure, there were days (like today) when the weather sucked, there were some pretty shady people we met and some pretty wacky places we stayed... and there were times (a lot of them) when for lack of food, sleep, or time, I became an intolerable, anxious, neurotic bitch. But that's nothing out of the ordinary and all of it was expected. I came out on top for finances and saw everything I wanted to see and more.

The eight days Alex and I spent in Kansai were blessed (mostly) with phenomenal weather. We happened to be visiting in an off-season lull right before Sakura Hanami (cherry blossom viewing) madness, so all the temples were devoid of tour groups. I was surprised by how often we were in the right place at the right time, so to speak. We happened to be in Nara for the Nigatsudo (temple) water-drawing and fire ceremony, a crowded but amazing experience. The first time we were in Kyoto, we met two of my friends from Waseda on a city bus for the 5 minute interval we rode it. Then, directly after that, we met Akebono and his entourrage at Ginkakuji. And though we were told there were no big festivals in Kyoto while we were to be there, when we came back a week later, we happened to be at Kiyomizudera (another temple) JUST as they were about to start a dragon dance ceremony that was performed only seven times a year at 2PM of the chosen day. That week, the streets and temples stretching from north to south on the eastern part of the city (where we were staying) were lit by lanterns and lined with Ikebana exhibits and the temple gardens were open late until 9:30PM for special night viewings.

The weather has cooled from an exceptional 75 degrees to around 45 and raining (hope it doesn't hinder the flowers!!) but I'm not feeling pressed to see anything more of this city with Alex. I've come to know Tokyo so well that I feel satisfied just sitting around in cafes and looking out at the streets. I know I can get to where I'm going in due time. This place may be an oppressive and overwhelming mix of light and sound but I think that I've mastered it.

I got my schedule for next term and my grades for last. (Big surprise) I managed all As in my classes and recieved a congratulations from the Kokusaibu dean. Hopefully this term will be somewhat lighter as I'd prefer to do more sitting around outside in the heat than dicking around with busy work. I'm again anticipating that my profs will be good and class content satisfying (I've got a social anthropology class with a final photo/video project!) but who can say. I guess I'm ready to get back to it.

Meh. Enough pointless blather for now. I'll have photo galleries up in the next two weeks and I'm planning to write up reviews and rate the places we stayed with advice for any would-be travellers to Japan. (I think I'm qualified to advise now. ) I'll be back tomorrow with real content.