Tweet Tweet, Beep Beep

Sapporo Snow Festival dinosaur sculpture

Interestingly enough, I just spent ten minutes convincing my host family that the noise dinosaurs make, contrary to what they heard on TELEVISION this morning, is NOT "tweet, tweet." I discovered this fact after my parents saw the above picture and proceeded to "tweet" at it. I was confused enough to give this statement consideration as, you know, I've seen Jurassic Park and I know there are plenty of small dinosaurs that MIGHT say something LIKE "tweet, tweet." But no, to my host mom's disappointment at her delicious English skills, T-Rex does NOT say "tweet, tweet." What DO dinosaurs say? I gave my best Chewbacca impression but when attempting to translate it into sound effect only came up with "ROAR." Lame.

They didn't seem to want to believe that "tweet, tweet" is the English equivalent of Japanese "piyo, piyo," the noise that little chickies and cute things make. It is NOT a dangerous or remotely dinosaur-iffic noise. Now what I wonder is, was this a joke they misunderstood... or is NHK really TRYING to create Engrish with English? Where, of all things, did they come up with "tweet, tweet"?

Justin, my host dad says you look like Ben Stiller. He also says not to tell you because he doesn't want you to get mad since Ben Stiller is a comedian and you might find that insulting. I think you're apt to find Ben Stiller's FRIKKIN' HUGE ears more insulting. The result of all this? I have a huge craving to watch Zoolander and no access to the DVD. Bah.

Also, To the NumbNuts at the KEIO bus company who can't run the busses on time,

If I am standing at the bus stop on a Thursday at 4:09PM and on the bus schedule next to me it is written that a bus should arrive at 4:14 and 4:22 and that one has just arrived at 4:06, why is it that it could even be remotely possible for me to STILL BE WAITING for ONE BUS TO PASS at 4:24PM?!?!? As much as I love taking life at your leisure, if I am made late for ONE MORE JOB because some dumbshit can't write or read correctly the bus schedule, I will write a letter of complaint to your company. I should not have to wait twenty minutes when busses come every eight. THANK YOU.