That Smile

Day one: tour by car

Yesterday was the first day I've left the house all week. This week is to be a week of respite and preparation for the next bout of travel... but I really just feel unmotivated to do anything, including sleep. I'm feeling a bit more beat down than is healthy. In spite of that, when I went out with New York Chris, Reinier and Yuuya to Roppongi, I was surprised how much more comfortable and in control I felt about living in Tokyo.

When I was walking home from the Oedo line station to my house, fattened by a 4800 yen Fois Gras and lamb dinner and toting a branch of peach blossoms for the Hina Matsuri (both courtesy of Chris's ludicrious spending habits), I realized that what's really different is not my grasp on the city but my ability to enjoy it in good fun.

My relationship with Tokyo is somewhat similar to that of a novice masochist's relationship to a seasoned dominatrix. I want to enjoy myself but I'm too busy being slapped into submission at every turn and muttering "ow, softer!" to realize that all I have to do to enjoy myself is let go and take it like I should. I guess I wouldn't make a good submissive.

There are days like yesterday, however, where I can walk around (in Roppongi of all places) open and ready to take whatever Tokyo can throw at me. Days like that, I find myself grinning and singing as I walk down the sidewalk, some carnal place in the back of my mind bowing in awe at the massive, pulsing life of the city and demanding, "MORE."