floating world
I like the colder weather. When it's cold, I can always think more clearly. But even now, I feel sometimes as if I'm living in a dream world, surrounded by mysterious colors and voices, floating through an existence in which I truly take no part but at the same time create entirely for myself.

I feel drunk now, even though I'm far from it. Tired, more than anything, but distant and preoccupied in a way that I become only when inebriated. I feel as if time has slowed to a crawl and I'm making my way through molasses. Except in Tokyo that molasses is liquid light crawling with other, slower people.

It's only 10PM but it seems as if I've been up for days. Maybe I didn't get enough sleep last night. Seven hours is pretty much the standard amount I can get anymore, so it's no different than usual. But this morning I got up and left early (for a Saturday) to meet friends at Asakusa. Asakusa is a very interesting place and, it being my third time there, I'm still not sure what to think of it.

It's one of the few places they say retains the "original flavor" of an older Tokyo. In a way, I find this to be true, as the area surrounding the Sumida River and the temple there has a certain aire of nostalgia. But, in a way, it's even more touristy than the larger, flasher city districts. It's one big shopping mall just like the rest of Tokyo. An older-fashioned shopping mall but another money pit nonetheless. And in this money-pit, the vendors will try to talk to you in English like you're a stupid tourist if you even RESEMBLE a foreigner.

I like Asakusa, really. It's an interesting place. But being there longer than two hours amongst the throngs of consumer-crazed Japanese and tons of tourists makes my head swim. I've had a headache all day.

I took some good pictures. Too tired to edit them and put them online though. Maybe in a few days.

Friends. Now there's an interesting word to write. I realized the other day that I do consider many people in my program to be my friends. I don't just empathize with them; I feel strangely close to them. With that mindset, suddenly, I'm not alone at all. There are a good many people I would consider my friends these days; people who seem to put up with me in return, through all my constant venting and bitching. Why they like me, I don't know. I seem to have an air of infamy about me wherever I go... but that's probably for the usual reason that I simply speak up too much and too often in class like the intellectual exhibitionist I am. No one seems to hate me for it though. I always wonder why.

That as it is, there are still a good number of people in the program (OUS and otherwise) with whom I remain disgusted. What prompts OTHER people to like THESE idiots is beyond me. It may be the same weakness that allows them to like ME for all I know. Social etiquette, although simply executed, will always remain a mystery to me.

My host mom and I just got done talking for an hour or so about my recent Japanese class grammar and vocabulary lessons. These days, it feels like I take one step back for every two steps forward. I'm still progressing but also continually disappointed in myself. There are just SO MANY aspects to this language. Unlike Romance languages, the primary focus in Japanese is not the direct translation of romanized words and phrases but the translation of CHARACTERS into SOUNDS and then those SOUNDS into WORDS and the WORDS into English. On top of that, you have grammar, politeness and humbleness structures, NOT TO MENTION kanji. It's ridiculous. I sincerely hope that accomplishing this much learning is changing my brain for the better.

If not, I guess it'll all still have been worth it.

Mata, ne.