booby prize/ booty call
This weekend I'm going to be meeting with a sculptor to perhaps earn my keep as a model. If I can accomplish this one thing, I should be entirely set on income for the rest of the year with or without English clients.

Of course, as all great lessons in life are, whether or not I get this job is completely out of my hands. The sculptor has to want me because I match some idea she has, not for my experience, skills or any particular measurements I have.

This sculptor is a very well-known artist who often sculpts from clay the life-sized busts, figures and profiles of foreign women. She has, in fact, used girls from the Waseda Kokusaibu before. Our program coordinator showed me a published book entirely comprised of photos of these works.

One of the other girls in this program and the only other girl from Oregon I would consider "model material" (moreso than myself by far) already interviewed with the sculptor. For the interview and sketches alone she was paid $70 but was told that she was "too athletic" for what the woman wanted. Hearing this, I felt a bit of (argh!) hope kindle in my chest. Maybe I can get modeling work and keep my ass after all!

It's not fair for me to get my hopes up for such a thing but there is a small voice in my mind that says I deserve this, I want it and I have the face for it. Pick me, pick me! I am, however, nervous about it even though I'll do nothing but sit when I meet the woman on Saturday or Sunday. That she can afford to pay her models so much and be as choosy as she is (the other girl is drop-dead gorgeous, IF too skinny) tells me that she is definitely a well-established and well-to-do artist. Am I good enough?

Please, God, I hope so. Wish me luck.

But I have come to realize recently that my appearance has afforded me some benefits. While other gaijin women around me are repeatedly harrassed, fondled, propositioned and pushed around, I am left untouched. This leaves me to consider three possible reasons why:

1) I'm really, really ugly and men want to be as far away from me as possible.

I know this isn't true. Discard.

2) I am, in fact, so exotic and pretty that many people consider I must be a person of great importance (read: model or actress) and therefore shy away and don't even imagine approaching me.

I'd LIKE to think this is true but since I'm very obviously a student and I still think I don't look THAT good, I can discard this option, too.

3) I'm tall enough-- I actually hit my head on the door to my house, bus and train if I wear heels-- built enough --I do have some nice pecs if I say so myself-- and wear enough of a "don't f--- with me, Tokyo," facial expression with me that men would never consider speaking ill of me for fear that I might kill them.

This is probably true.

I'm flattered to see people stare. But other than a few exceptional occurrences (three drunk guys, the crazy man in my neighborhood, the "I love you" boy and my English client), no one whistles, catcalls, honks, makes dirty comments or propositions me.

I'm pretty happy with this result.