one weird night
I am slowly going crazy....

Woke up around 5AM this morning to what, probably, was a mouse chewing in my wall. No wonder why I wasn't sleeping so well, with all the voices in my head speaking Japanese. I wish my body didn't freak out on me when slightly stressed. But of course I went back to sleep and then was submitted to more subconscious torture before waking up to discover that the reason I was probably sleeping WEIRD all last night was because I forgot to take my contacts out. But strangely my eyes felt fine even though they dry out after short naps. WTF?

But I do not want to, cannot go through this whole "repeated dream sequence in variation" thing again. I'm sick of it. I'm fine with not caring when I'm awake but I can't deal with caring more than humanly possible while asleep. What is wrong with me?

I dream of open places, this time running through fields of paintbrush in the country. I call you, I call you, I call. Everyone is here but you are afraid to see me. I am not as smart, as quick, as beautiful, as strong any more. I have fallen behind. In my dreams, I am always the victim.

Let it go, Kat, just let it go.

I still can't believe I fell asleep with my contacts in. What was I thinking? *rubs eyes* Apparently thinking rationally past 12AM isn't possible or I wouldn't have such dreams anyway. Hey dreams, go away! Leave me alone!!