Thursday

Feeling much better now but moments of on and off terror and sadness. Justin seems to be feeling a lot more confident and so, assured of his place in Seattle, I feel a little calmer about leaving. In a way it makes it harder because I want so much to be with him.

I said goodbye to Dameon and Darragh yesterday, as well as some of the other Knights. Lauri sent me off with a travel charm, as did Alex. Alex came up from Portland on the train, jet lagged from being in Italy for 5 weeks and all, to say goodbye to me. I love that boy... I will miss him.

Things aren't getting harder; they aren't getting easier, they just ARE. For me right now, life is a gaping hole after Tuesday with no plans and no expectations. I think I'll feel a lot better once I get on the plane.