Purgatory
Too many bad feelings.
I hate this place, I really do. I don't know why.
My stomach hurts and I feel like I should either be shitting rivers or vomiting but I'm neither.
One moment I'm numb, the next the smallest thing sends me into a catastrophic emotional collapse. It's on and off again every second, pulling myself through the days and trying to remain positive.
I'm so scared. Today I lost my home, I lost my cat, and I lost my live-in partner.
No one is here to hold me.
I know I'll have a good time in Tokyo eventually but right now I don't want it. I don't care. I want to go back to my apartment with Justin and Rupert and sign another year lease.
What the fuck have I done? I don't want this. I don't want any of it.
I had no idea it would be this hard.
I want to go home.
I have no home.
I feel sick.