circular logic
I don't know if I actually want to go abroad. Stories from people who've been on the Waseda program are starting to scare me.

But, moreover, I'm beginning to wonder if I'm not using the whole extended travel scenario as an excuse to push the reset button on my social life. This time, I have SO much to lose. I really ought to just work with what I have and maybe someday I'll get where I need to be without hurting anyone else.