What lies Beneath
At 7:45 this morning, I turned over, shut off the alarm, and went back to sleep.

I dreamed.

Again, it was a dream of happy, loving, childlike innocence. It's rare for me to feel guilt in my dreams. But often, the things I do in my dreams, though they are done with immense happiness and genuine joy, are not actions acceptible in the scope of my normal social life. My mind defies boundaries.

In the dream, I laid down and went to sleep. Simple, restful sleep. I was not alone.

I became gradually aware of this and, when I opened my eyes, I was in my own bed with my own mate, content, warm, and loved.

It was 8:09.

I always wake up like this, about fifteen minutes after the alarm goes off. I always turn it off and sleep again for a little while longer. But this morning I woke content, a little later than usual but with no hurry.

What is this feeling? Could it be? A good mood???

Now, three hours later I'm a bit tired, a bit worn thin, but the feeling lingers. The catharsis last night was cleansing.

Granted, I do feel horribly guilty for sending my grandmother that email. But It seems diplomatic enough to me... I hope. But what will be will be. And I'm proud I'm assertive enough to stand up for my wounded psyche.

This weekend will be interesting. As of four PM today, I'm off to Hoodsport, Washington to get my advanced diving certification. I won't be near a computer or posting until late Sunday or Monday morning. I shall return!!