Sunshine Angst
I don't feel real.

Today there's something blocking the part of me that cares about everything solid in the world. It's left me as Emotion, abstract and intense, blown by the wind.

I just sat for an hour in the sun on the steps of the EMU amphitheatre and listened to some college band play their gig. I watched them with my mind and let the music take me away. Despite the brightness outside, it's dark in here.

And its beautiful. I want to let it out.

I want to go to the beach and stare at the ocean and pour out my soul to someone who can listen, understand, and know enough to say something meaningful in return...
But my only real sounding board won't go to the beach with me. We're victims of social constraint, another stupid world I fail to understand. I don't care what people think... and I'm a liar. Maybe it matters even more than I already realize.

In the grips of a moment like this when everything is angry and amazing, beautiful and terrible, I would kiss you and kill you. Fuck off, you're too important to be real.

I'm raw, I'm open... if you carry the music, come bleed me dry.