Unending Compromise

Head like a hole/ Black as your soul/ I'd rather die/ Than give you control
Bow down before the one you serve/ you're going to get what you deserve...
SoTM: Nine Inch Nails- Head Like A Hole


Hey, I needed to vent to someone and you happen to be the person I can rant most lucidly to. Feel flattered I guess. Or, feel abused. Just tell me, please, what is wrong with people? Is no one I know capable of acting like an adult and not vacating responsibility? I speak here mostly of Kim, Reilly and Ty. Ali, though she was a Nazi Bitch to me [and I to her], showed maturity in things. Even mature bitchiness. Kim vacated before finding someone to take over her lease. She paid two rents this month and will do the same next month, as it works out. Reilly insists he didn't listen to what he was told, acts like a teenage boy, and refuses to take responsibility. Tyler is just a drifter and tries to leave no mark... better than pain I suppose but stupid in the long run. I really have no idea how he expects to find a replacement without doing any work. He's supposedly going to Italy with family come April. They haven't even bought tickets yet.

No, I don't need a hug. Right now I spurn hugs. The quills are up and I will draw blood. I am tired, I am frustrated and I am still trying. For every solution I have, someone find another way to fuck me over. I will find another solution. I will get fucked again. I am getting angry. For those of you who haven't really seen me angry: It isn't pretty. I like to talk things over. I will compromise to every extent I feel comfortable but after that it's tooth and nail. I will not BE compromised. I will retain my integrity. [note: this is a fancy way of saying, "I will get my way."] I don't like confrontations, I don't like to fight. But I will fight, and dirty. I'm too assertive to be screwed by a bunch of losers.

So fuck you to all those who are trying to damage me. I need control in my life and I refuse to give it to some idiots. It's getting ridiculous. After someone has crossed the line with me, for every hurt they deal I will deal another equal blow right back.

Going in for the kill.