The Road Home
It's a funny feeling, unpacking. I think I put a little of myself in those suitcases, so it's almost like taking my life out of the bag and putting it back where it belongs. Not that I'm saying clothes are my life; quite on the contrary. As Tyler Durden says, "you don't own your stuff, your stuff owns you." It makes sense when I think about travelling. When I'm in transit, I'm free... it's one of the only times I allow myself to feel truly enlightened. I take off the chains, I meditate, I celebrate life as the world goes by. THe only reason I can do this is because I put that little piece of myself into the suitcase. Maybe I should leave it there... it's difficult to settle in with everything back in its place. I keep looking around and waiting for the full feeling of last term to settle in. I want things to be different, stronger and less fearful. I want to hold onto the feeling of enlightenment that I gathered in the last week. I want to wake from sleep every morning and take up a piece of paper and write the poetry of waking dreams, whatever comes to mind, good or bad, to burn or release in ritual and live each day to the fullest. I know I won't have time for that, though... I know I'll get caught up, I always do. [but at least I can vent here!! : )]

I'm lonely right now, but thanks to a surprise O.Voice meeting, I at least had something to do but I'm now left to ponder... which I usually choose to do instead of being social. Why? Hm. My cat is sleeping upside down on the bed...

I feel a strange in this combination of being peacefully enlightened and extremely human. I guess the next few days will be a precarious fine line. I want to smile and love myself with pride but it's hard when I feel vulnerable. [[I want to listen to my Joni Mitchell, but someone has my MP3s still. : ) ]] Oh well, I let go, it's the only thing left to do.

Time to unpack.