hump day
Gosh, when did I turn into such a GIRL? It's been a slow transition from my awkward high school days where I portrayed my lack of self confidence as "rejecting the status quo." (To be honest, though I still resent the mysogynistic body standard, I do feel that to a large extent, many people who say they "refuse to conform" either a) have low self-esteem, b) don't know how to take care of themselves, or c) don't value personal grooming.) I blame study abroad for my turn down the dark and dreaded (or maybe just pink and sparkly) road to girldom. I bought skirts before I went to Japan because, well, they wear them a lot over there, and even though I knew I wouldn't fit in at all, I thought I'd give it my best effort. Then I got eyeliner... for shits and giggles. And it's been getting worse ever since.

I still suffer from an occasional lack of perspective about my appearance, but for better or for worse, I've become much more confident. I'd say that I border on narcissistic on some occasions (this post maybe?). But I have certainly learned to value appearances. By that, I don't mean that one's bone structure, breast size, or eye color indicates their attractiveness or value in life. To the contrary, I feel that we work with what we're given but that what we're given ought to be taken care of.

I took to heart a line from the movie American Beauty: "In order to be successful, one must project an image of success at all times." It isn't about fashion or makeup or hair dye; it's about self-confidence. But I don't think there's anything wrong with taking care of yourself either. That's why I work out. And for that matter, why I paint my toenails or wear mascara... because it helps me feel good. And it's fun. But sometimes even I get carried away. Especially when I'm confronted with so many people (women especially) who use the vehicles of self-presentaion to mask their self-loathing. When makeup is a coverup instead of an amplifier. When a workout is a compulsion instead of an enjoyment. That saddens me.

I'm writing this post sort of as a confession. I think, upon occasion, I feel guilty about how much effort I put into my appearance on a daily basis. I tan myself, I straighten my hair, and though it makes me feel positive, it also seems quite silly. Now that I've graduated, I've been putting special thought into improving my dress. I feel somehow as if to authenticate my "right of passage" into the realm of adulthood, I ought to dress better. I still feel as if my clothes are cheap and juvenile because I'd much rather wear a t-shirt and jeans than designer anything. Call it a comfort issue, a financial issue, or whatever, but I often feel distinctivly UN-coiture.

It's not a big deal, I know it isn't. I'm probably just fiddling about because I'm looking for a job and I have to "put my best foot forward," so to speak. Having to purchase "interview clothes" and "work clothes" makes me look at the rest of my 3-year-old solid print t-shirts in a rather drab light. And then I feel silly, because I still wear them more than anything else.

But enough with the introspective drivel. I'm curious what you think: I believe that personal grooming is important, including dress, excersize, and personal care. I know some people don't care as much. How important do you consider appearance and why?