down again
I can feel Winter wearing at me. Its dark fingers are pushing like heavy weights against my eyelids and creeping cold up around my kidneys.

I always forget just how difficult January and February can be. I coast through November and December riding on a wave of anticipation toward the holidays and Winter Break. Even though the days are getting longer by the time the New Year starts, the first months are always the most mired in darkness.

Things are better this year, my mindset more positive and my surroundings more luminous. But even in an office with many windows, even while sitting wide-eyed in front of my light-box I feel heavy and tired, wrapped in the smothering blanket of perpetual twilight.

Up before dawn, home after dark, in-between hours spend listlessly sitting and biding the time. If only, my mind says, if only we could get away from here. It's so hard to remain "present" when presence in the grey mist of Winter 'now' seems only to lead to sleep.

A regular sleep and day schedule helps me relax, as I think that (with few exceptions) minimizing bodily and mental stress during Winter relieves the most pressure. Early-morning Ashtanga yoga works miracles for my body and mind, though it does contribute to the problem of sleep loss and early mornings. Fair trade, I guess.

But ah, the weekendds, when I finally get to sleep in and relax a bit. This weekend RacheMicah's wedding party went to David's Bridal to look at bridesmaid's dresses. There's a bit of a toss-up as to whether we'll go with 'wine' or a lilac/ victorian lilac color scheme. When we entered, we were leaning toward one and when we left we were leaning toward the other.

I somehow expected to try on a bunch of ugly dresses and leave feeling that I looked stupid. Instead, I found a handfull of great (but pricey) dresses available in both colors. (See: Dress 1, Dress 2, Dress 3, and Dress 4.) I though I looked pretty good in most of those, so I'll probably end up getting one of the above.

Justin and I watched the campy but good coming-of-age werewolf flicks Ginger Snaps and Ginger Snaps Unleashed, ate some Papa Murphy's pizza (free from the government to me!), made awesome stir-fry, slept late, and went for an urban nature walk. (I do love Nutria and ducks.) It was a god way to unwind from a week of readjusting to the academic climate and extreme muscle soreness.

I don't want to live weekend-to-weekend but if I can manage to make each weekend as cushy as this last one, the mid-winter slog will be much more manageable.