Revelation
Oh. My. God. What a night. Am I dead or alive? It's 2:15AM and I just got home from the biggest dance club in Asia. [which is saying something even if the club wasn't that big...]

First of all, I can't believe it-- I can dance. And I can dance my ASS off. In fact, I can dance my ass off so much I forget how to understand military time and miss the last subway train. By an hour. And pay $20 for a cab to get my STUPID self home. I guess you live and learn, eh?

I'm not sure whether to laugh or to cry. I had such a fabulous time. It was by all standards, amazing. And so, so, SO worth it. I'll have to back to Velfarre again. My ears are still ringing but I feel GREAT (tired tho) after dancing for four hours straight.

I just... can't believe I misread the train schedule. I mean, I was really surprised this morning to read that the last line home was at 1:35. Which is why, of course, it's NOT actually at 1:35, it's at 12:35. So, sensing my distress at discovering the station to be locked, my sweet cabbie (almost) talked me out of potential tears by chatting me up in Japanese. A real challenge when upset, let me tell you. I couldn't even remember what exit of Shinjuku station I wanted to go to.

Then, when I explained that my home was in fact in Minamidai, Nakano, he refused to let me walk. He kept telling me, oh, you know, it was cold out tonight and that walking wasn't safe because someone might mistake me for a Hostess getting off my shift. I told him I'd walked before and that my side of the station was perfectly safe but he insisted he drive me and said he would stop the meter at Shinjuku station. Thank GOD he did. I watched the meter rise as we drove. I can't BELIEVE how awful traffic was at two in the farking morning. Packed. My total fare would have been over forty dollars had he not decided (without my convincing him) that he didn't want to charge me over twenty. Sweet baby jesus.

And you know, it didn't even occur to me at the time to tip him. Do they even do that here? There's no restaurant tip... so I don't know. I also wonder if maybe he thought I only HAD Y2000 and really didn't expect anything more. Whatever the case, I guess $20 is only $20 in the grand scheme of thing, even though I will without a doubt blow my budget this month.

At the point I decided I wanted to take a cab rather than hang out in Roppongi (which I could have safely done for another 4 hours), I thought it best not to cry over spilled milk. But my god damn milk was spilled pretty much all over the place one I got in the cab and I just wanted to go home. Out of Roppongi. Out of Shinjuku. Out of Japan. All I wanted most of tonight was for someone to hold me or for something to embrace me. I just wanted to be POSESSED... a part of something. That's why I went dancing in the first place... and the only reason I'm OK right now is because I at least found solace in some Trance.

I can't believe how much I danced. Or how long and how hard. I spent the better part of an hour and a half dancing on one of four ladies-only raised platforms while the crowd undulated below. I wore freaking GLOW-STICKS, for god's sake. I barely drank, although the two free-drink coupons were good enough to get the bartender to make me two all-liquor cocktails with some eyelash batting. I just danced. I just let go.

To be quite frank, after no sex for over a month, I needed to let go. I wanted more than to let go... I wanted to be taken up and posessed by something massive and passionate. I don't know if I accomplished the apotheosis I desired, but I accomplished something... some weird camaraderie with the rest of the clubbers by being the only gaijin girl left at 1AM.

My ears are still ringing. I hope that souvenir is enough to be worth the $20 trip home.

O-Baka.