You better Belize it
(I'm so sick of that slogan, it's good to be home)
Ahh, the welcoming fog of Eugene. Rupert's happy to be home and so are we! Too much travel and not enough sleep; I'm hardly ready for my six hours of classes tomorrow. For your amusement and because I don't have much else to say (vacation has relaxed my philosophical mind), here is the record of the first two days of my trip. Yes, I wrote the whole thing down, all eleven days of it, and I'll try to post two days worth every day this week, just to keep it here. Most days will have pictures but these two won't since they take place for the most part before we get to the island. Drumroll please....

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*insert island music*

*grind music to a halt with sound of jet engine*

DING!
This is your captain speaking. Welcome aboard your flight to Nowhere at All, sponsored by the American flight system. We guarantee we will do everything possible to make your flight a shitty one. I hope you didn't like your scheduled vacation because you can kiss convenience. Strap in and shut up (unless you're a screaming two year old) because while we here at the airport aren't observant enough not to let a Leatherman through security, we will try in every way possible to inconvenience you in the name of security. I can't see WHY we're going bankrupt. Enjoy your peanuts, they're all you'll have to eat for the next thirteen hours!! BUAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! *ahem* And now for our in-flight movie, Spy Kids II: The Island of Lost Dreams.

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Day One- 12/22/02 [Travel is Hell]
12 AM Left the "seattle knights" christmas party. We only knew 5 people there, rather disappointing. Went to Molly and Pete's (Knights) house to sleep. They're 10 minutes from Sea-Tac airport.
4:45 AM Wake up. Go to airport. Check in in huge lines.
6:15 AM Board flight ontime. RIGHT at time scheduled to depart we are asked to de-plane due to "security problem." The plane is emptied and "swept." Everyone has to check in again and be searched. I am frisked by a nice woman wearing a pentacle. I wish her a happy solstice 2 days late. I'm cheerful at this point.
7:30 AM We are now over an hour late. No longer cheerful. Will miss connection. Find out one of fellow passengers was responsible for the problem after he refused to be searched and then boarded the plane when no one noticed. Decide he and security crew should be dragged behind plane during takeoff. Most people on the plane are now screwed.
1:30 PM (central time) Arrive in Dallas international airport. The shittiest airport ever. I hate Dallas. The last and ONLY daily flight to Belize City is gone. We are stuck in dallas with NO chance of reimbursement and no luggage (it's been "checked through"). We are here until the next day at the same time. A whole day blown due to some asshole. We stink.
2 PM Get a "distressed" discount rate at a Days Inn. Take taxi to hotel.
3:30 PM Take taxi to Grapevine Mall, a fsking HUGE indoor outlet mall. Hugest I've ever been to. Sleep deprived, stressed, no blood sugar. We eat at Rainforest cafe... it's gimmicky and annoying but food is OK. Spend an hour and a half (20 minutes by Tims time) in a bookstore. Make it through about 1/6 of the mall in 3 hours. Go back to hotel to watch TV and be jet lagged.
9:30 PM Try to sleep.

Day Two- 12/23/02 [Speed up, Slow Down]
6 AM Thunder. It's rainy and cold. All the comforts of home but flat. We should be in paradise by now but we're not. Great. It storms. Eventually I fall asleep again to more Dreams. Depressed.
10 AM Check in at airport. There's a news crew with a guy dressed as Santa and Mr. Scrooge. We wait and pray that they won't forget about our bags in a corner somewhere.
1:15 PM Board 1/2 hour late. Whole damn country's going to hell.
3 PM So far our "LUNCH" flight has given us a 50 cal bag of pretzels and a beverage. The first class passengers are eating a three course meal. I know, I can see it. I feed off the scent and it drives me crazy. Hypoglycemic, stressed, and tired, I lay my head against the window and cry. I'm listening to Tori Amos. God, I love this CD but it depresses me so much. Suddenly I look up to see a face singing in a music video on the airplane monitor. A face that I recognize from somewhere. Deja-vu. In a moment I realize who it is: Howie Day, the guy who opened for Tori in the concert tour for the very cd to which I am listening. He's singing a song he sang at the concert. I plug in. The audio quality is horrible but for a moment I have a great sense of serendipity. I should have shook his hand when I had the chance.
4:15 PM Belize city. The airport is in the jungle. I can tell it's 85 degrees by looking. Humid. The airport has three rooms and customs is a joke. We really smell now. We're stress because we think we won't make our flight to the island that leaves in 20 minutes. We don't want to get stuck someplace else for another day. We learn you do not rush here, not in Belize. Relax, a man tells us, the plane's not gonna leave without you. It's not? They give us banana snacks and tell us to wait. We will wait. They will wait!
4:30 PM Our bags are here! ALL of them! Halleluhjah! We buy out $50 tickets for the 10 minute puddle-jump to Caye Caulker.
5:15 PM The plane leaves 45 minutes late. But we really don't care any more. We're here. There's no worries and no airport security. My boarding pass has my name spelled wrong. No one cares. The plane is 12 seats and a propeller. Whee! I suddely feel alien here. I'm moving too fast in my head. I hope I can slow down or else I'll outrun everyone else. I look out the window at the incredible view. I can see all the way to the bottom of the sea. The sun is setting.
5:30 PM We are all friends here and all strangers. That's what it seems. A taxi ride from the 1 room airport and single-plane landing strip is on a golf cart. There's fewer than 20 motor vehicles on the island. Given that it's 4 miles long and less than a mile wide with three streets and only 1200 people, this makes sense. I can see both sides of the island from here. It's dirt, sand, and stray animals, houses on stilts, warm air. A local follows us to the hotel on a bicycle in bare feet. It's apparent that where we're staying is by FAR the nicest place on the island. I feel like we should be begrudged this. I don't like feeling like a rich tourist. I feel guilty. It is dark, the wind picks up.
6:30 PM Time takes the room with a view. Pout. Unpacking is fun. So is ceremonious room sex. We walk the roads in search for food afterwards.There's grilled lobster offered everywhere. Cheap, $15US a tail. (Exchange rate is 2-1 belize-US) We haven't eaten all day. We choose an open air grill called Sobre los Olas. There's wind blowing around in the plam trees. I'll have to convince myself that wind doesn't mean bad weather. The food is the best thing I've ever tasted. We all get a shrimp kebob that comes with veggies, coconut rice, beans, and coleslaw. I want to order a Mai Tai but they don't have em. I order a Tia Maria and cancel when I find out it's an espresso liquer. Too much stress for my heart already today.
7:30 PM There's a group of Australians (and south africans?) at the next table from us. I'm admiring their accents and eavesdropping. They're busy ripping into Americans as if we need a new one. For the first time I see myself in the scope of international tourism. God, people HATE us. I don't want to be American any more. I want to go over and smack him or apologize for myself and my stupid fucking country but I don't. I love listening to his accent too much. I hate my own hard vowels and nasal speech patterns. I say I want an australian. Time, rising to order another shishkebob, mishears me and says You want one? I'll order one for you. We can split it! Classic.
10 PM We wander the island. Shit it's small. It's also friendly but I'm wary right now. It feels weird to be here. I meet a lot of people, mostly guys who hit on me. Tim and Justin wander off and leave me stranded to make conversation. Dammit. We've got tired feet so we go back to the yuppy hotel to drink Fanta (cola) in glass bottles (!!) and chat. It's a snall world, next door to us in room 10 is a winemaker named Dale from Portland, Oregon. He's here with his girlfriend until the same day we are. Ahh, life is good and we're glad to have air conditioning. At least the night is quiet here. I'll sleep fine.

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