No fear.
(this is, in part, a response to an elaboration on the previous post)
I've heard that to be truly free, you must live a life without fear. And I know, very personally, how paralyzing fear can be. I've sat for hours, days, weeks, months in indecision because I didn't have the strength to move forward. But I believe that there's more than one type of fear. There is the emotional fear that freezes you and steals away your strength. There is the metaphysical fear that causes you to stop for a moment before you jump and that fills you with elation as you fall through it. There is the fear that threatens you in the distance and causes you to embrace, unbearably and with great joy, everything around you. I think this fear can enlighten.

I am really, really scared right now. But it's not something that's gripping me and squeezing me to death. It's a fear that lurks in the corners and mirrors my every action back at me. This fear has made me take into account all the things I have to love and all the things I hold for granted. It's made me acknowledge my inner dreams and accept my stupid, meddling side. It's made me ALIVE. It's made me free.

If there's anything to inspire passion and emotional freedom, it's fear of having your way of life and the ones you love taken away from you. I've learned in many ways over the last three years that being threatened is an extremely enlightening experience.

I don't feel so good every day. I don't wake up every morning glad for the sunrise. But it does wash over me at least once a day now, that feeling of completeness. I also think that this yoga class that I'm in now is amazingly beneficial to maintaining my spiritual side. It's a phenomenal experience... I've never felt such joy as I have by just accepting the sancitity of life in this class.

There's nothing like weather like this to bring out the Seeker, said my teacher, It's times like these that make you embrace the sun in your life. When it's sunny all the time, it's hard to remember that there's something to be embraced.

I almost wept but I was grinning like a fool. I want to maintain this practice. I want to spend a few moments every day just bursting at the seams for all the things that are happening inside me. I want to constantly be reminded of what I value. I want to be too concerned with embracing what I love to remember the guilt and uncertainty that weigh me down. I don't want to be afriad to live ambitiously, I want to be afraid of what I'll lose if I don't.

I'm finding myself here, in this moment of fierce freedom. I'm finding myself with the promise of things lost. I'm finding that I'm not afriad to be afriad.

I don't want to go to war. I don't. I think it's the worst thing that could happen to this volatile world right now.

But this fear is the best thing that's ever happened to me.

(*** I want one of these***)