Hot Nasty XXX Weblog Action!
Did you know that according to some evolutionary psychologists, my writing this weblog is a simple indicator of my instinctive drive to show off my mental fitness and thus ensure the best possible mating opportunities? If there's anything I got out of Evolution, Cooperation and Ethics (HC Colloquia) last term, this is it. Cool.

Actually, after digging through my closet last night (I'm home in Seattle) and finding some precious goodies- letters, pictures, keepsakes, etc- I think I came to the comclusion that the purpose of this weblog is more than making my unconscious conscious or publishing my dirty secrets to the world, it's a sort of scrapbook. I put snapshots in here that I want to remember. Whe I have a thought that I find valuable, I catalogue it here for later reference. Because it's important to me in some way. I'm a packrat, that's how I work. Sometimes it's annoying, I accrue endless amounts of stuff but I know that the stuff means something to me. Granted, I can't always remember what it means, like last night when I looked at a small, green, plastic snake from my scrapbook bag and wondered for five minutes WHY I kept it... but I know there must have been a reason. And I'm glad for the keeping. Things are always there when I need them.

But this has the difference of being both public and private. Sometimes I hesitate before writing something, like last entry. I almost didn't publish that, or even compose it... until I realized the importance of the thought in my mind. I don't want to lose that... I'm always afraid of forgetting something important that I think. And I ususally do, unless I write it. I'm not too worried what people think, although sometimes I am. It's more a matter of assessing the importance of something internal to the mind and finding it valuable enough to be a keepsake.

I do have a curious tendency to treasure the past. I realized yesterday that I don't get over things as well as I should. I'm not a normal "pack it up and move it on" kind of gal. I'm forgiving and progressive, but I mull over things. It has to do with a firm belief that everything means something. The problem is that when I'm dwelling on something, I'm often unsure whether it's an indicator that I need to take action to solve my cognitive dissonance at the risk of disrupting current circumstances or simply go with the flow until things resolve themselves. And there's the rub... to move or not to move- to play the game or to wisely spectate- that is the question.