static
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy...

More like makes Kat a freakin' psycho. I've had a serious problem with my work ethic lately. A serious problem, in fact, with all matter of things involving self control... eating, TV, Internet useage, sleep, concentration. Of course, the issue is stress, and the huge volume of work I have looming in front of me. I can't prioritize any of it, and there's just so MUCH of it that it all gets mushed together until it's impossible for me to concentrate on the present moment.

All that serenity I felt fall term about focusing on the Now has fallen away and I'm a total manic/depressive mess. Yesterday I finally got some of my work under control, but I'm struggling to do the same thing today. It's almost impossible to retain perspective without hyperventilating about term-end projects or thesis work.

So I'm back being a cynical, irritable bitch who can't stand to be around anyone. It's hateful. I resent other people because they can't conform to my expectations. I resent the world when it doesn't go my way. And I resent myself because I should be able to control my own pace and progress but can't even seem to do that. I'm exhausted and still sick (but recovering, thankfully) with no end of this madness in sight.

Everyone is looking forward to term end for a break. Admittedly, it will give me some relief but I have no plans for a break. My Spring Break is dedicated to uninterrupted progress on the magazine-- because the more I can get done now, the less likely the shit is to hit the fan when the thing goes to press. I just hope I survive.