fray
You're not a mind reader, so you couldn't know that I've been sitting here, mornings and nights, waiting for you to come online so I could talk to you. You still haven't shown up and I wonder, quite irrationally, if you're somehow still angry or that you're "keeping busy" to spite me.

UPDATE: Durr, well at least I'm savvy enough to consider the possibility I was accidentally blocked from Justin's AIM list, which I was. I know WHEN, as it was weird to have my chat rejected the other day and see him suddenly drop offline... but since it wasn't him, the question really is WHO WAS IT?

Ironically, when I'm out and about I feel quite confident-- overconfident, in fact. But when I'm sitting here, alone, a few hours short of a good night's sleep despite that it's vacation, all the nice tight ends start to unravel.

This summer. My living situation. Scholarships. Income. The thesis. Next year's classes.

I can't seem to convince myself that the day won't be a waste if I go back to sleep for a few hours. Therefore, I can't convince my body to go to sleep either... so I'm here in front of the computer again when it's the last place I want to be. It's stupid and I'm quite obviously tired and menstrual but it seems right now as if I'll never be able to keep it all together.