SWEAT
I suppose this post falls into the category of "embarrassing personal problems," so I apologize beforehand. However, what's been on my mind the past few days (if I've been thinking it all) is that I really seem to have a problem with sweat. If there is any form of clothing in contact with my underarm area, I simply soak it through with sweat. Whether it's from hormones, stress, anxiety, glandular difficulties or what, I don't know. I don't smell, probably because I've become as obsessed as the Japanese with the o-furo (bath) and because I wear deoderant/antiperspirant. Obviously, the "anti" part of "antiperspirant" isn't cutting it for me, no matter if I use American imports or not.

I've had this problem before and it seems to ebb on and off, which makes me wonder if it IS stress or hormones. I'm loathe to do anything about it because I figure if I take anything to STOP the sweat, it will be worse for me than just sweating. And Zinc causes all sorts of horrible things like Alzheimers and aliens spaceship reception and whatnot. But me being terribly pitted out is definitely NOT SEXY and NOT COMFORTABLE. Today I had to tuck toilet paper sheets folded into fourths into my armpits to finally staunch the sweat that was showing through my grey shirt. This is not sweat from physical exertion nor in normal proportions. I'm sick of it and it's gross. I'm sure you agree.

Now, two questions remain: a) what to do about it? (nothing, I guess) and b) why am I writing about it?

Since I obviously don't care much about above "a)" except to whine about the ongoing (since last summer) problem, I'll have to pick "b)" to answer for now.

This weekend, I sat down and had a long talk with myself, in the way that crazy people often do. During that talk, I got bored, so I started to page through a book titled Survival Kit for Overseas that has been sitting on my shelf for some time. I've had this book since our orientation at UO last Spring Term and occassionally looked at it only to find that it's a bunch of common-sensical, new-age, "no duh" bullshit about culture shock. So why did I bring it here with me? Probably precisely so I could have this moment.

As I was looking through this obnoxiously OBVIOUS book, it suddenly struck me that I've been down with a really, really bad case of Culture Shock. Yeah, duh, I know. I knew it too... but I didn't stop to think about it. What I've been doing is so characteristic and so UNHEALTHY that I didn't even realize the severity of it. I've been spending my days at the kokusaibu feeding my own "disease" and trying to infect others with it. As I've been coming out of it slowly, I now realize just how sad it is to see all those people who "hate it here." Yes, Japanese people do a lot of stupid things. Yes, Tokyo is pretty annoying. But Americans and America so do and are just the same way and I managed to live there just fine with only a minor degree of complaint (mostly).

It's my fourth month here and it's time to scrape these scales from my eyes. I'm sick of sitting around bitching to people, so I'm going to stop. In fact, I have stopped. And since then I can walk from place to place and not feel assaulted by the city. Granted, yes, NOISE in any proportion still drives me mad because it is so constant, but I figure that will stop. And certainly, I don't expect to feel any better about the Kokusaibu and the RETARDED Waseda faculty, bureaucracy and curriculum. My Japanese class will never cease to make me hate Japanese and my other classes will never cease to be a jumbled mass of idiocy... but there's little I can do about that and it's only the atmosphere and schedule that makes Waseda any more terrible than the UO. I can't change that but I'll do my best to change the rest of what I can.

So this brings me to my point. I've been thinking a lot but it's been mostly in a relaxed, fragmentary fashion that makes for little writing except in snippets. My brain is now becoming wired for an average life here and that makes me really happy. Here's some of what I've been thinking lately:

** How is it possible for me to have read an entire book of short stories just in today's classes (I got it out of the library this morning), when I haven't been able to finish a book of even smaller snippets that's been sitting by my bedside for weeks? Huh.

** I bought an skirt at a bazaar for 500 yen and it only occurred to me later that it's pretty ugly. But since I scored a free gym membership, goggles, swim cap and dive bag the same day (not to mention free Kabuki this coming weekend), I'm not exactly in the red. But I also sense a certain danger in that I'm beginning to shop like a Japanese. I consider myself thrifty when I find a 5000 yen skirt, if only because it was marked down from 10500 yen. Oh, the Gap Girl in me loves that Tokyo is one big shopping orgy.

** Today it rained. And two days ago it snowed. It's funny how rain and snow can be both so similar and so different both in appearance and feeling. Rain always makes me meloncholy and relaxed but the snow fills my body with a quiet sort of resonating energy that brings a grin to my face and quickens my step. I walked to Nakano station in the lightly falling snow on Saturday and I think that was the happiest I've been in a long time.

** There are a lot of restaurants in Tokyo. As I've said before, more here "per capita" than anywhere in the world. Unfortunately, I've had a chance to go to very few of them. Even more unfortunately, I want to eat at them all. Thai, ramen, udon, Indian, tempura, soba, etc, etc, etc... if I were rich, I'd make my task to eat at as many delicious restaurants as possible. If I were rich, I'd be pretty fat.

** I wonder why the man on the bus today made a point of stretching himself out and taking up one whole seat on a full bus. No one moved to stop him or take the seat but nor did he straighten up and make room for anyone when he finished using his cell phone. Even when I got off at my stop, he still lay sprawled all the way across the seat as if it were his to own. Maybe he just needed space. In this city, I can understand that.

** Sex on the train. I have to grin thinking about it. Now you can stop reading if you don't want to associate me with sex, because I've given you ample warning. The story is that Justin and I are coming back from Hakodate to Tokyo via overnight sleeper. I'd much rather be GOING to Sapporo via sleeper but the cars are all sold out. I'd really wanted to watch that sunrise over the Snow Country. But alas. In any case, we have a private compartment because we're yuppie fuckers like that. And of course, because I think one should always take advantage of all opportunities that come one's way. And that's all I really have to say about that!